A friend of mine mocked a woman’s small engagement ring (behind her back) at a dinner party once and told us that she would never marry a man who thinks a small engagement ring is an acceptable symbol of love for marriage proposals. I told the group my honest thoughts about this subject and I praised the delicate beauty of small and simple engagement rings. My opinion was of course, unpopular.
Why do we care about ring and diamond sizes so much? Where did this ‘The bigger the better’ come from when it comes to precious stones? Before I research this topic on Google, I’m going to take a pause, look within and ask myself why I liked huge diamonds in the past too.
So, I think that the young twenty year old me used to think of ‘engagement rings’ as the most precious piece of jewellery a woman will wear (apart from the wedding ring worn alongside it) so it makes sense to make sure the engagement ring stands out (I guess this is where the bigger the better comes from). I also wanted other women to admire my ring and to think it’s beautiful because there are people out there who judge relationships and couples according to the size of their engagement rings and weddings. Now that I’m older, I can see that the main reasons why I wanted a big engagement ring are all superficial and more about impressing other people.
I can see how ridiculous that whole mindset is…
Why do we do things to impress other people? Isn’t being in love more important?
I’ll be honest and tell you all that I’m quite fussy when it comes to the things I purchase and wear. I guess we all are. It’s not that I didn’t trust my fiance to choose a great engagement ring, I just wanted to make sure that my engagement ring is something I love and will be happy to wear forever. When we started to talk about getting married, I asked him if it would be okay for me to choose or design the engagement ring and he was more than happy for me to do that. Some people may think that the concept of choosing my own engagement ring is so unromantic but I disagree. I think that it was fun to choose with my partner and it was a great way to explore what’s out there together. It was an important choice after all so we made sure we researched thoroughly before he bought anything. I’ll admit that he researched more than I did and by the end of it all, he knew so much about precious metals and stones that he sounded like a jeweller himself.
We ended up going to an independent jeweller who designed and made the engagement ring with us. I didn’t want my fiance to spend so much on the ring but he did because he wanted to make sure the diamond we have is a really great quality diamond. We chose a platinum band with an amazing Marquise cut diamond solitaire. I wanted the ring to be simple, classic and elegant. I also needed a thinner band than usual rings due to how small and thin my fingers are. I love my ring and I wear it with pride. It really is something I constantly look at especially when the diamond is freshly polished and cleaned.
Do I get lots of compliments when wearing it? No.
I’m sure it’s because it’s not a gigantic diamond.
But do I love it so much? Of course.
Simplicity stands out so much in better ways than having a huge stone on your finger. This is another situation where ‘Less is more’ can be applied. The less fussy the ring is, the better and the more versatile it is because you can accessorise with other pieces without worrying whether they go together or not. I know that since I had my engagement ring, I’ve made sure I only wear delicate and dainty jewellery to complement the look of my engagement ring. I find that it’s not too much or too out of place to look at considering that my fingers are so small and that’s what makes it elegant and beautiful. It’s makes choosing a wedding band much easier too because a lot of things will go with the simple solitaire designs.
It’s not just beautiful, it’s simple and minimalist in design. I can comfortably wear it everyday and I don’t feel like it gets in the way of what I need to do. Apart from when I’m washing my hands or when I’m in a rush, the Marquise cut diamond shape can sometimes be quite sharp and it’s hard not to get in caught in some places.
That’s another thing about big diamond rings; they are too big for everyday use. Some people may be up for worrying about their engagement rings but I’m not up for that. I prefer low maintenance rings. I chose a platinum metal not just for its rarity but for it’s low maintenance quality. When the patina forms around the platinum metal, I’ll be happy to leave it that way because I personally love that kind of look. It’s not like white gold that will need re-plating every few years. We will save money in the long run by choosing a platinum band over white gold.
QUALITY OVER CARAT SIZE
As my partner thoroughly researched, he knew everything about the four C’s when it comes to diamonds- Colour, Clarity, Carat and Cut. We care more about the colour, clarity and cut of the diamond instead of the carat size. For me and my partner, I would much rather have a higher quality diamond than a bigger low quality one. We went for the Marquise cut because it’s not as popular as the round brilliant or princess cuts.
Big engagement rings attract more attention and so it’s a risky thing to wear everyday especially when you’re out on your own. Jewellery insurance is certainly something I recommend because they are good to have however why would you want to have an engagement ring you’re scared to wear? It’s much better to have a simple ring because you won’t worry that much about it.
Engagement rings are an important part of becoming engaged to be married but it doesn’t have to be the main focus when it comes to this important milestone in a man and a woman’s life. Focus on what you want to wear and what your personal style is. If a big diamond ring is still what you want then go for it because they are of course gorgeous rings too!
Engagement rings are a symbol of love, not wealth. It’s about you and your fiance.