When I met Boss for the first time, he was jumping up and down and he was so excited to see me with my fiance. My fiance and I just started dating at that time. Boss was my fiance’s dog… well, my fiance’s mother adopted Boss from a dog shelter so my fiance didn’t really own Boss, he would just visit him now and then when he had time. I was told that Boss was previously owned by abusive people who didn’t treat him very well which was why Boss had trust issues and isn’t too friendly with strangers. I was always reminded to take great care when approaching him.
I didn’t think that Boss had trust issues because he was so happy to see me all the time. I think that meeting him with my fiance made him trust me but I just knew that he was a very happy dog. I didn’t see any trace of sadness or fear in his eyes. He was always so excited, full of energy and he loved to play the fetch game.
They told me that Boss was temperamental and that he is capable of biting if you catch him in a bad mood. I didn’t believe them because every time I stroked and patted his head, he loved it and asked for more attention. My fiance told me that Boss loved him and I could clearly see it because Boss’ happiness turned from 0% to 100% every time he saw him. One day, when I met my fiance’s sister for the first time, she walked into the kitchen and said that she didn’t like Boss because he didn’t like her and would often growl at her. I never saw that negative side of Boss which she described and so I asked my fiance about it.
He said that Boss never liked his sister and Boss would scare his sister away because he growled at her and attempted to bite her once. My fiance said he didn’t know why Boss acted like that towards her but he just insisted that he had trust issues. I immediately thought, ‘I feel you Boss… I feel you…’ Its hard to trust again after experiencing any form of abuse. I know dogs have their own reasons for acting the way they do but I also know that dogs can sense the energy we give out. I also believe that dogs are very sensitive too and can often feel if we don’t like them back or are fearful of them. I understood how Boss felt…being abused takes away our ability to trust fully again and no matter how hard we try, we find often find ourselves in situations where being able to trust becomes an impossible thing to do.
Who doesn’t have trust issues? If I asked you if you could fully trust people would you be able to truthfully say ‘yes’?
I’ve had my fair share of disappointments. People let me down and I’ve let myself down…Like Boss, I’ve been rejected and hurt many times. I find it hard to trust people sometimes and I often find it difficult to trust myself too. I’m actually an open and honest person but I have learned over the years to shut a part of myself from the world in order to keep some things just for me. I keep people at a distance just like Boss did with my fiance’s sister. When I sense a negative energy from someone, I stay far away from them. I know that sounds like I’m judging people without giving them a chance but that’s just a natural reaction I have when I meet people sometimes. It takes me a while to open up unless I get a good vibe from that person.
It took a while to open up to my fiance but now, he knows everything about me and because of that, I feel like he knows what I’m thinking and feeling even when we are sitting in silence. My mother knows my heart too… because she is my mother and she can feel what I feel before I even feel it myself sometimes! We are connected in spirit and I guess that’s the gift of motherhood; mothers and their children get to live in each others’ hearts.
I often think of Boss and what he must have felt like while he was being abused. He must have been confused by what was happening to him. I believe that all beings here on earth just want to love and be loved in return. Its confusing for all of us when people want to spread hate and hurt others; imagine what it must feel like for dogs when humans intentionally hurt them? They must feel so lost, confused and scared. My fiance told me that dogs have evolved from wolves to what they are now to be a companions to humans. I was confused when people I trusted and loved hurt me too. I often blamed myself a lot for their actions and my own. Because of the stress and the pain, it’s only natural to close off, shut yourself and lock your heart away.
But Boss and my fiance’s relationship with each other taught me something valuable about life and trust…
Like I said earlier, I just started dating my fiance when I met Boss and I wasn’t sure whether I should trust my fiance with my heart too at that time…but…
Boss trusted my fiance and in return, my fiance was able to love him unconditionally. Boss opened up his heart to him and they were able to play together and have so much fun. If he didn’t do that, they would have missed out on so much fun together. One time, we took Boss for a walk and we made him fetch a ball for what seemed like a hundred times. Boss had so much energy and so much drive to catch the ball that he stumbled a few times but he rose back up and tried over and over again. I could see how happy Boss and my fiance were…I was also very happy and had so much fun.
Moments like those won’t be possible if we continue to close our hearts off. We need to open up so we can welcome happiness, joy and love in our life. I learned then that I needed to give my fiance and I a chance. Love cannot blossom in a place filled with fear and doubts.
I knew then that I must be willing to trust again in order to live a full life. I wanted to be just as happy as Boss was when he was able to let go and trust my fiance. So I opened up my heart to my fiance and now, four years on… we’re still together, in love and each day just keeps getting better and better.
Sadly, my fiance’s mother just told us one day that she gave Boss up and passed him on to a family friend who also adopted other abused dogs. My fiance was upset and wasn’t sure if the new owners would be able to look after him. It was clear to see that Boss saw my fiance as his master and he wasn’t able to trust anyone else. Unfortunately, my fiance’s mother didn’t consult with us first to see if we wanted to have him and it was too late to take him back from his new owners. We didn’t even get to say goodbye to him. I’m sure Boss must have been upset because again, he was passed on to someone else and he must have felt rejected all over again but one thing is for sure, I know that Boss would be able to open himself up just like before because he’s one great dog and his resilience will see him through.
So, thank you Boss, wherever you are for the fun and the lessons you taught us… I hope we see you again…we miss you so much.
*The dog in the picture isn’t Boss but he sure looks just like him…*
If you are interested in adopting animals in need, please contact the local animal shelters near you.
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